¶Wednesday, October 7, 2009¶
♥♥
I didnt know what Love is until somoeone broke my heart.
hi friends,
it's been a month plus that i have been hiding this feeling or should i say my true self from you guys. and i didnt realised it at all that all these while what i did is just
"going with the flow" or
"terpakse". i only realized it yesterday went a friend of mine talk to me for hours, face to face!
suddenly i felt someone slap me hard on my face. and that awakes!
Macam aleh2 tersedar gitu. i had a break up and what i am today is because of him. i started becoming the old me. "old baddass/party people that only care for myself" quoted by someone that says that to me. yes he says that im being fake all this while. like what he thinks? im playing a stage play here or something?
god is really fair to me these days, despite making a lot of sins, he answered my prayers. he's been listening to all my cry. im thankful to God. in 1 day, he showed me all. i mean everything that i have to see/hear/wanted.
i always thought mistakes makes someone better. but what i see is that an angel can be an evil at just a blink of an eye.
Kalau orang da tak suke, everything about you is wrong! ive moved on put the past memories behind. but what did i just hear recently? oh god, youre no angel.
im not being strong on what ive been facing recently. what i did was just stop thinking of it and make my time occupied! that is why im always out almost everyday. but when at some point when my mind thinks of it, it's really heartbreaking.
i really thank this friend of mine that really makes me realized what im doing now didnt helps me. and if you were wait for time to heals all wounds, someone tell me, when will that day come?
i cried yesterday and promise myslef that today we'll be a fresh new day for me. its on the 7th! so yes im going out later to have fun and maybe clubbing toninght. ladies night!!
i wanna thank all my friends that have been a listening to all my cry anger sadness and all. to freinds that just know about this, please dont be shock. no one is perfect! im sorry i didnt tell some of you. like i say, ive been hiding all this inside me.
and yea i feel like removing this bloggy/site as i dont want other people that i dont really know to read and know about me. as what i see, my fb, everyday people will come and check on me. people talk about me, my life and wants to know about my daily activities. this is so beyond a friend to friend thing. it's like stalking! and everyday w/o fail pending friend request goes up and up. i dont have time to check one by one. so if anyone that added me but ive yet to approve do tell me. cos seriously, going thru one by one makes me so weakk...
and dear knoxy, thanks a millon for being there for me. and i know what u going thru is hard too but yet you just wont stop advicing me over and over again. i know im stubborn at times, do hang on yea. haha!
*will edit on my grammar once im home.
gtg.. cheerriiooosss:)
[Nineteen]
[Nineteen]